My Yard

We are beginning the festivities. We are getting in the Spirit. And it is about that time.

Yesterday one of my roommates and I hung Christmas lights.

It's funny how the seasons can sneak up on you. Even if it doesn't feel like Christmas we buy into the ideas and rituals of it. Something that honestly doesn't really make sense to me. And since it doesn't make sense to me you could call me a hypocrite. Anyway, shouldn't you really feel and buy into something to celebrate it?

I think one reason why we enjoy these festive times is because they are fun. And that is what us humans strive for: fun. Many of our decisions are based on how much 'fun,' we will have. We are all seeking enjoyment and fulfillment--sometimes even mindlessly. We go along with it because it is apart of our routine.

We love routines. We get so comfortable in them. When we feel violated when they are broken or interrupted. When they are interrupted we feel as if it was a personal attack to get us out of swing. I think alot of it is just plain selfishness, and I for one am guilty of being selfish.
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A glimpse into my life:

Three nights ago I was doing homework and our doorbell rang. I opened it to find four ten-twelve year olds on our stoop. Two of them had rakes, and one of them had a shovel, the fourth was just standing there--he might have been the ring leader, I don't know. Anyway, I say 'hey' and ask them what they are up to. They tell me that, "they are raising money for football, and they were wondering if they could rake my yard..for a small donation..."..."of course I thought to myself."

I stood there and smiled, just because I can't help to mile in situations like these.

I tried to play it off that I really didn't need my yard raked, however guilt started to encapsulate me. I was reluctant to initiate anything, however I said, " alright guys, I tell you what. How about you get started, and I'll go in and get you a few bucks..." That got them excited. They started, and I walked inside.

I returned outside and saw their progress. It was looking good. I gave the 'ring leader' a ten dollar bill and said to them "do what you guys think is necessary and worthy of ten, because that's all I got."

They were grateful of my donation, and kept working.

I walked inside to finish my homework before my night class. Every so often, like a peeping tom, I looked through the blinds to make sure they were working...it looked good.

At about 5:45 I was getting ready for class. I gathered my books, and put on my Jacket, and opened up my front door. I walked out on the stoop, and stopped. I gazed upon my yard. There is a side walk down the center of it, that acts as a dividing line, that leads to our porch. Looking at the dividing line (sidewalk) I start to laugh out loud.

These money raising football players raked half my yard and then saw it fit to leave.

I have a beautifully raked side of our yard, and then the right side is a sea of leaves. It's pretty classy if you ask me.
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Last night my roommates and I watched Braveheart.

Enough said.
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I am ready for my semester to be over. It has been a good one, however, the prospect of it ending is a relief as I am sure it is for all college students. I enjoy school, but I also enjoy the breaks that are built in with the schooling process.
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I have been stretched and challenged this semester in ways I never thought possible. Things that I have believed in, in the past, have been deconstructed, and are slowly being resurfaced in new ways. This has been very unsettling. For as long as I can remember I believed in a certain faith system, and throughout this semester, I have realized that much of my 'belief,' was just a product of my up bringing. I have been conditioned in a way to believe it. And as uncomfortable and unsettling that these thoughts and realizations have been, I have felt liberated. I have felt free because I know that I am not lying to myself. I am not putting up with justifications. I am just being true and real to myself--and that has made me so damn uncomfortable, but it has also made feel so alive.
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"Every man dies, but not every man truly lives."
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Enjoy your December.