Suprised

A week ago today I was swimming in the Pacific Ocean.

Let me say that again:

A week ago today (December 16th) I was swimming in the Pacific Ocean.

I went out to California last week. I went out there to visit friends, not be in Kansas, and to feel revived.

I didn't have too many expectations. I was expecting brown, dirty, and an overpopulated landscape. However, I was very pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed the hills, the beauty, and the ocean.

There is something to be said about the ocean. It is truly majestic. When standing on the beach, listing to the never ending rhythm of the waves crash to shore, and looking out and seeing no end; that is truly something to marvel.

We also went to Joshua Tree National Park, and it was so eerily beautiful. I absolutely loved it. I recommend it to anyone who loves to be in an over sized bouldering field. For me it was an over sized candy store, and each boulder was a new counter with new candy, that I wanted to consume.

Words do not do this Park justice. It was seriously incredible.

The group that I was with took about a mile hike to this remote bouldering field, and when we got there I remember feeling so small. Standing on top of boulder, and just looking around seeing no cars, roads, buildings, other people, and really any sings of civilized life. I felt small. I felt wonderfully uncomfortable, I felt alive.

We forget how much space there is out there. We confine ourselves in this little box of life, and succumb to it's ebbs and flows. We enjoy this box. But when we are displaced and when we experience the feeling of being small and feeble, then we truly come alive. Something deep within our being is unleashed, not really knowing what it is, but it awakens, and we can't control it. It wants to explore. It wants to be pushed to it's limits. It wants to run.

Those are some of the feelings I experienced while I stood atop a boulder and looked around seeing mountains, other boulders, and of course Joshua Trees. It was incredible. I felt so huge and my smile about stretched off me face. I was so huge, yet so small and feeble. Absolutely humbling.

My last night I was there I stayed up till 4 in the morning having one of the best conversations that I have had in a long while. My friend and I started talking about 12:30 or so. (That is nearly four hours of uninterrupted beautiful conversation.) My friend and I were asking each other tough questions that I have rarely thought about. The Q and A was really eye opening and refreshing, here are some of the questions:

What has been your happiest moment in you life? / Saddest?
What is something you are most proud of?
What is the stupidest thing you have done?
What is the worst thing someone could do to you?
Most embarrassing moment?
What are the things that drive you crazy?
What would you change about yourself?
What do you love about yourself?

And so forth....

I know that it probably reads like an interview, but I recommend having a conversation with someone and asking these questions, and other deep questions. It is really eye opening and quite profound. The best thing about it is that both me and the person conversing were real. We didn't hide. We were open. We were real.

At times there was uncomfort because of the answers we were coming to, but the uncomfort lead to peace because of how organic it all was. It was beautiful.
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Overall I am content.

It sure as hell doesn't feel like Christmas and I have yet to buy any gifts.


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I hope that the holiday is filled with love and peace.
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Cheers.